Cohost writing prompt: @Dragon-who — Dragon who thinks that kidnapping royal scion’s is just how you ask out a knight
"Ser Gunnhildr. Thank you for attending me."
"I am sworn to service, Your Highness. What do you wish of me?"
"It's — I'm afraid it's Vashomar the Many-Coiled, Gunnhildr. Again."
"The dragon." Ser Gunnhildr draws a deep breath, and lets it out. "Another kidnapping attempt?"
"Let us be honest, Ser Gunnhildr, if any of them were attempts then I would by now have been kidnapped. But no, not even another extravagant threat, nor monologue, nor even moonlit slithering around the walls and towers of the castle."
"Then—"
"Unseasonable rains in the East," the princes says. "The court sage tells me that the weather itself is tugged around by the strings of fate, and that dragons are creatures so mighty in their destinies that everything they do is a sign and a portent, and the world bends around them to witness it. It rains, fit to sweep away towns and rot crops in the soil, because — the dragon is sad."
"...Sad?"
"The sage has procured some obscure texts of occult lore," the princess says, produces a palm-sized tome, bound in fine leather, and proffers it.
"Fate, Fire, and Femmes: Gender Roles and Performance in the Occidental Wyrm," Ser Gunnhildr reads the title aloud. "...Your Highness?" she adds blankly.
"I think Vashomar is trying to entice a performance of the — ah. Of a particular sterotyped — Ser Gunnhildr, you're aware that abducting politically high-value targets developed as an elaboration of natural dragon courtship behaviours? That it demonstrates mating fitness via strength of arms, impunity of action, and willingness to sow chaos in single-minded pursuit of the abductor's goals?"
"I'm not sure what you're telling me, Your Highness," Ser Gunnhildr says weakly.
"The sage suggests that — Vashomar really wants you to kidnap me. As a blandishment to secure her affections."
"...What?"
"We can't afford a famine in the East," the princess says helpfully. "Draconic suitors aren't unprecedented! All the literature suggests they're very attentive! I have the Royal wizards researching ways to let her down easy later as we speak!"
"...What?"