Cohost writing prompt: @Making-Up-A-Villain — Villain who is very popular at holiday parties
"Get fucked, John."
"I'm just saying you need to dial it back. I know she bit you that one time—"
"She caused a riot!"
John Shift takes a deep breath. "No easy way to say this, Glitz," he says. "You caused a riot."
"She was trespassing!"
"And that might even stick. You know, in the appropriate court of law that doesn't involve superheroics."
"She impersonated Santa!" Glitz grinds her teeth, apparently hearing how that sounds. "She impersonated a mall Santa—"
"She sat in his chair when he fucked off for an unscheduled smoke break," John says. "So. Trespassing. Maybe. She wasn't even wearing a Santa hat, Glitz, are you telling me the youth these days think Santa's a puppygirl?"
"She told every single kid who came up they were getting a puppy."
"And then you caused a riot by punching her in the face in front of them all," John says.
Glitz pulls one lapel of her team jacket over her face and screams into it.
"Tell me specifically what crime it is to lie to small children about puppies, Glitz."
"She's a supervillain—"
"Are we in the business of deciding people are just intrinsically bad, so if we see their faces we'll make something stick, just because we can, Glitz?"
She keeps the jacket over her face, breathes in and out several times, and finally, through her teeth, admits, "No."
"Nobody wants to get all you're a loose cannon, McGurk! Turn in your gun and your badge! on you, Glitz," John says, quieter, sympathetically. "But leave the goddamn puppygirl alone, okay? If you see her jaywalking or keying someone's car, just...call an anonymous tip in to the cops, right? And if she's not committing a specific crime, just walk away. If she's in a saddle riding a hundred-foot Dogzilla downtown to kick buildings over — well, I guess you can have that one."
"Thanks," Glitz says bitterly.
"What's the closest she's got to anything like that, Glitz? Remind me."
"Bit me that one time," Glitz grinds out.
"Yeah." He jiggles the keys in the team office's door. "The fuck have you got against puppygirls, anyway?"
"THEY HAD TO CHECK ME FOR RABIES, JOHN—"